Stay Focused Friday!

4 Tough Questions to Ask Yourself Before you Jump

I don’t know why, but it seems to be in our human nature to constantly be looking for the next best thing…I believe all of us at some point have been guilty of this “devil in disguise” tendency to want something that seems better at the time than what we already have. We get tired of our routine, the excitement wears off, something new comes along and we’re ready to jump right on the next best thing band wagon.

I am not suggesting we should never opt for something better, as there are always times in our lives when change is necessary and it is time to move ahead to something new.  What I am suggesting is that before you jump on the next best thing band wagon, have the tough “self-conversation”.  Ask yourself these 4 questions and make sure you have taken all emotion out if it.

Before jumping on the next best thing band wagon, ask yourself these tough 4 questions.

  1. Why am I looking for something better…No, really…Why? Be completely honest with yourself.

Sometimes, we allow our emotions to take over our mind, and this can cause us to make hasty decisions that may not be the best for us in the long run.  If you are choosing the next best thing because you think you will be happier then you are now, I urge you; do not move on too quickly.  Why? Because happiness is an emotion and emotions are fleeting. They turn with the tide (literally).  If you are not happy now, the next best thing will not make you happy in the long run. I repeat: The next best thing will not make you happy.  It is a trick, please don’t fall for it.

  1. Are you feeling down on yourself and not satisfied?

All of us have been guilty at some point of being dissatisfied with what we have.  Because we were born to be successful, it is innate in us to desire more and better. This is a good thing, unless it causes us to not be grateful with what we have, and where we are in the moment.  If you are making a decision to choose what appears to be “the next best thing” because you believe it will make you feel better about you, I urge you; please wait…It is a trap. If you do not already feel good about yourself now, the next best thing will not be the answer.

  1. Does the next best thing seem easier then what I am doing now?

Why do we always want to take the easy way out? How many times have we had to suffer the consequences in our lives for choosing to take what seemed to be an easier out? Something new can always seem “easier” then what we are doing now. It’s because it’s exciting, and that can make us automatically feel like it would be easier.  Quick fixes can exploit our emotions especially when we are tired or feeling a little burnt out.  If you are thinking about the “next best thing” because it seems like an easier solution, I urge you; don’t make the leap. Nothing good is ever easy…Make the harder choice.

  1. Do you have a tendency to want to run from something instead of facing obstacles head on?

Confrontation is one of the most difficult things for most of us to face. At some point, I would suggest that we have all been guilty of moving on to the “next best thing” simply because we could not bear the thought of a tough conversation, or accepting the consequences of choices that we’ve made.  We tend to blame others for our circumstances and refuse to take any part in the responsibility.  If your decision to move on to the next best thing is to avoid any obstacles like tough conversations or consequences, I urge you to wait; don’t fall for the lie that there won’t be obstacles ahead in anything new.


The wolf shows up in sheep’s clothing and can make something appear to be what it’s not. It can seem so great, but how often in your life has the grass ever been greener on the other side? Instead of being so quick to jump on the next best thing band wagon, maybe you could opt to stay right where you are, to be a part of the solution, and decide that you are the next best thing!

After all, you are in charge of you, and remember:  “Wherever you go…There you are.” Dr. Kabat Zinn

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Kim Martin